Semen as an anti-depressant

Now normally...I dont exactly encourage monogamy, in fact I rail against it most of the time.  I mean its that whole loaf of bread thing; once you have one slice? well the whole damn loaf tastes the same anyways.  Now personally? I want rye, pumpernickle, sourdough, whole grain etc...the same loaf of bread day in and day out? LAME!!
Well according to this article semen being absorbed through a woman's vagina acts as an anti-depressant for her.  So now..of course its got me thinking...maybe monogamy isnt so bad after all?
http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn2457-semen-acts-as-an-antidepressant.html

-Mz.Nin

Responding to your idle threat Inveigh

In response to your threat of leaving lip muff hairs in my home.  I happen to be single right now and am not opposed to forgoing the groomage of muffage.  That being said you now have 20 days of lustrious muff hairs to contend with on your pillow...I imagine my 20 days of growth will be far more frightening!!!!
This picture of course represents bald muff...something which I will not have...I couldnt find a picture of a hairy enough cat to capture the essence of my terrifying threat.
-Mz.Nin

Movember Log, Day 9: Creepy...

So I did it, I shaved all but my 'Lip Muff'. I know about Muff Power, I have to, I am friends with the lovely Mz.Nin, but I am not feeling it...I am feeling creepy. Very creepy actually.

See, the problem is I keep wandering out into public and forget that I have this thing under my nose. I smile at people, and sometimes make inappropriate jokes. I like to creep people out slightly, it's sort of fun. But now...well now I don't have to do anything, and as soon as I open my mouth... fuck I'm going to be arrested by the end of the week!

I was at the vet today, and I'll admit, I have a fetish for vets. Two reasons. They always have critters around, and I love critters, and two, they are like doctors, but for critters. Well I hurt myself a lot, and while I also have a doctor/nurse fetish, vets fill an extra roll in providing me with kittens to play with. So they get an extra point. And yes I would totally let a vet patch me up, they're just as good, and I'm not picky.

So while I'm there I'm chatting up the lovely vet, and notice she is not making eye contact. Not one bit. I think maybe I have made a mess with breakfast? Do I have ice cream on my face?? I check...nope seems pretty clean, and then pow, I hit the lip muff and it all makes sense...I am hideous...but wait! Maybe all is not lost, maybe I can wow her with a clever moustache joke!!

I try...I fail...

Turns out public masturbation is rather more frowned upon than I had previously imagined...

My dog is fine though, and that's what's important. He seems to like my lip muffage actually. Or at least he still looks me in the eyes...I guess this is what women with fantastic tits feel like?? Except the opposite?? Does that make sense??

Anyway, off I go about my day, periodically forgetting about my facial trauma only to be reminded by the horrified sneers of everyone around me. It really is a disaster...in one day I have received no less than 4 very lovely women telling me I have done something horrible, that I need to grow back the beard, that I look pretty in a beard, and now I look (...dry heaving sound...)

You know what ladies. Mouvember isn't about looking pretty. This isn't some 'Lets get pink ribbons and put them on our cars and wallets and underpants to beat cancer' thing. This is way more than that. This is a 'Grow something awful on your face' thing. This means we are going to trap cancer in a small room and molest the absolute shit out of it until it can no longer face the light of day without flashing back to the things we have done to it. It will be spending the rest of it's days weeping in terror in a shower of bleach. We aren't being nice to cancer, we aren't being mean to it. We are being creepy and pervy, and if that isn't enough to drive it away, then we may all be doomed...

So wish us luck, and feel free to take advantage of all the moustache rides you can. They'll only be here for a little while longer.

And Mz.Nin, you are stuck with 20 more days of this. Perhaps in that time I will be able to acquire enough Muff Power to smite you, but I somehow doubt it. Good old fashion smiting will have to do hey?? Wence I do shave, be sure that I will keep it for you, and you will find it sprinkled about your home as I once did with emptied bottles so long ago)

- Inveigh

Here's to your scruff Inveigh

Dear Inveigh,
Today...in the morning, while I was huddled up in my bed with the sickies I decided to peruse Facecrack for some giggles and silent bashing.  I came across quite a sight...a certain someone's certainly noticeable LIP MUFFAGE!!!! It is both frightening and intriguing, I mean I stared for a good 2 minutes in horror and awe...then of course I promptly tried to decipher a hidden pervert van lurking in the background of the picture or a piss stained mattress on the floor of your home (isnt that what a pervert would sleep on?)
Now thankfully I am slightly under the influence of childrens wuss syrup and feeling a bit fluffy myself...though I imagine much softer and cuddlier then your lip muff.  So Im not really going to go off about the blasphemous plague going on, on that upper lip of yours right now...
How many more days of this snaggle muff must we endure?
-Mz.Nin

The Halflings Take on Things

The cactus back, the drooling mouth, the gigantic wart on the elbow...tapered fingers? My halflings are the most creative beasties around...enjoy the halfling art!! -Mz.Nin

Mouvember Log

Day 8 : Insanely Itchy.

Well I still haven’t shaved. Fuck that shit. It’s far more fun this way. The office prick is running around with a pretty terrible stache, and making sure everyone looks directly at it (Sort of an attention whore that guy) and making a big deal that a few of us have chosen different paths to get to moustache-ville. Ie, not shaving anything (my strategy) or shaving everything (a strategy I do not think will work out in the long run, but it pisses off Mr. Loud so I support it). Bucking the system a little bit is a lot of fun, and I’m enjoying the manliness a beard makes me feel. I think perhaps I should go kill something and eat it. Maybe a carrot? Some celery?? A little lettuce leaf??

I figure just can’t I can’t hear them scream, it doesn’t mean they don’t. And they bleed, but we call it juice. It still runs down my jaw, and I’ll still eat it raw. Such a savage hey??

So back to my beard. So far it looks pretty terrible, but since there are a few amazingly terrible moustaches around, I look pretty good by comparison. It’s been a few years since I’ve grown anything on my face, not including that stuff that grew on that gummi bear I had stuck on my forehead a while back. (You don’t want to know about this…well maybe you do, but I don’t want you to) So I’m curious to see how it’s going to fill out. The itching though…my god…This I do not enjoy. I know it’s just a bit of time until it stops, like when you let your muff patch get all wild and it drives you crazy, but it only lasts like a week, and then when you shave it down again, it drives you a different crazy for a different week.

On an unrelated note, I totally trimmed my beard with my ‘Don’t use this on your face anymore’ trimmer. Now I’m sitting at work wondering how acceptable it would be to pin someone down and give them a beard burn while telling them what I did this morning…I’m going to guess not very…but this just makes me want to do it more…

In the end though, I have made a deal. I will shave all but the stash, and in exchange another has agreed to partake and grow a terrible terrible moustache as well. Interestingly enough, I had a lot of help making this deal from someone who admitedly feels ill around the moustaches. Does she know she just helped create two more for her to have to deal with all day??

-Inveigh

Mouvember Log, Day 4: Itchy

I awoke today with a very scratchy face. I had not slept well. Pillow seems to be unhappy with my current facial condition and refuses me its comfort. I shall have to rectify this…but how?? Shampoo! Of course. Make it soft...so simple...


I have to confess, at this point I am still sporting a full scruff, and have yet to shave and leave a small scruffette in my moustache position. Mostly because that would look terrible, and also because I like to look scruffy. So this worked well, I lathered my head, and then my face, only getting a little in my eyes, nothing a fierce squint couldn't handle.


Work was not so much fun. I feel as though invisible spiders are caressing me with their hairy little legs. Not in a sexy way, but in a horrible way. Their fucking spiders...why would you think that would be sexy??


Pervert...


I'm still hesitant to shave...I'd like a day or two more where my scruffy not very good looking beard can cover for me, distracting people from the moustache area. Helping it blend in with it's surroundings. Once the beardlette goes, there will only remain moustache...


I do not know if I am ready...


-Inveigh